Where did the time go and how come I don't feel satisfied and ready enough to leave yet? Maybe I will as soon as I finish classes and realize that I have accomplished a lot of amazing things while studying in Florence. It just doesn't seem real that I have visited so many places and have met so many people and have experienced such earth shattering things. I always thought my study abroad experience (if I ever decided to do it) would never bring me to places I've seen on the Travel Channel or read about in Travel magazines, but really it is rather possible.
I spent the final days of class finishing my travel photography portfolio, as well as studying Italian grammar- oy! Everything is becoming a last- the last time to eat here- the last time to walk here- the last time to see him/her etc etc etc...I'm not going to try to make sense of it all because I'm getting a headache thinking about it.
As I sit here in the dark in my apartment listening to Radio Italia, I am reminiscing on these past four weeks and how I have developed as a young woman and how I have found more of a clear path toward what I want to do. I think back on these past summer months and wonder if they really happened. It is true that when you get older the days just mesh into one and your life tends to pass you by. There's got to be some way of slowing it down. Maybe some trick to life that has yet to be discovered.
I wander the streets of Florence in a hazy mix of emotions. The people around me are somewhat silhouette figures that blend together. I make my way through them with ease but with obstacles in front of my face with each person I encounter and each thought that passes through my head. It's the challenge of life that keeps me going and without a bit of personal motivation I wouldn't have been in Florence in the first place. It all goes back to that small epiphany I had in class last semester. All it took was two minutes to change my whole mindset toward what I (sorta) want out of life. I don't think it's time for me to be completely sure and honestly I don't think there is a such thing as being completely sure of one's life.
I have used my last voucher for one of the restaurants and ate as much gnocchi and seafood salad as I could with a small group of my closest friends here in Florence. I’m becoming more sentimental every day and I know it’s normal but I want to treat this goodbye as a closure to simply this experience with doors opening for other experiences in the near future. I am not someone who likes to say goodbye so I’m not going to say that, especially to Florence. I have fallen in love with this city and not in a million years did I think I would. There’s something about it that just makes me happy and makes me feel comfortable. It’s the draw of the rich history and culture and the people around not to mention the gelato places that line each street and the cute police officers that wander around constantly. I know that with the month I have spent here in Florence and with traveling throughout Italy that I realized there’s so much more to life than rushing from place to place and doing this activity and that activity and overloading my schedule that I’m just not into anymore. I’ve got to learn to adapt the European culture a lot more and maybe not to an extreme, but rather to a level that suites me.
I’ve tried to find some private time to spend alone and I have but I don’t feel ready to leave just yet. Maybe a few more weeks will do. Hey I do have some days with my family here so maybe that will help me get through the transition- or just make it worse. I think the latter one makes more sense. I’ll let you know…time for some time with la famiglia.